I’ve been silent for too long and it’s not okay anymore. I’ve made peace with the experiences in my life that made me insecure and sexually uncomfortable, some of those experiences being with men and some with women. The necessity of balance for compassion and acceptance on both scales is critical.
It’s been interesting to see the reactions from other women when I share the experiences that I’ve had with men versus sharing the ones with women. When I talk about the situations that occurred in my more mature life, where men or boys and I didn’t have the sweetest and most safe walk in the park, pitchforks are sharpened in mid-conversation. When I share the early life experiences where I was tested and manipulated by other girls, well, everyone’s too uncomfortable to hear the details. I may also be projecting. Part of my own being could not be totally comfortable with sharing those details or maybe I’m still so unsure about what they looked like and only remembering the feeling and effects. Maybe my half-story isn’t enough for a sisterhood of souljas to join behind to battle. Keep the war, anyway. That’s not why I share these experiences.
This all makes me think of the lack of acknowledgment on behalf of my sistas when the discussion of “toxic-femininity” is brought to the table. Many say that it’s not a real thing. That dismissal in itself means that many of us aren’t ready for the depths of such evaluation. If all of the accountability has to be taken by men and boys for their “bad” decisions and the fathers are to be chastised, when all of the healing is cleansed and renewed, what are the women left to do? Only heal from the effects of what was done by those men and boys? Or do we then reflect inward and acknowledge our “bad” decisions too? How did we become the judge to weigh the hearts of these men and boys while no one is strong or supreme enough to weigh ours?
That’s the truth though. No one is supreme over us. No one can weigh the heart of another, so we weigh our own. We take accountability for self and we reflect that wealth of growth, better health, and healed wells.
By the way, “toxic-femininity” is the imbalance of the divine union of masculine and feminine, such as “toxic-masculinity”. The abuse and projection of the imbalance do have interesting effects on the environment, as we can easily see most times by reflection within ourselves.
Moan and complain if I sound like a Gypsy out of hell but the message here is that we don’t heal, progress, or vibrate high if our hearts and minds are filled with hate towards someone else. Our souls deserve everything that it has known and that is called divine purpose. It’s called living... It’s called overstanding the spirit world.
This self-love trend is one of the most beautiful things that I’ve gotten to witness living in this lifetime but let the mission of self-accountability be accompanied by it as well.